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The Prayer group on Apparition Hill, one night ten
years ago
Many pilgrims
are interested in the prayer groups of Medjugorje. The following account is the
truth. Since the first day of the prayer group, I have been keeping a diary.
The first prayer
group in Medjugorje was formed on 4 July 1982, a communist holiday called "day
of the solder". The prayer group was formed by the invitation of Our Lady on
Apparition Hill. This prayer group exists to this day. This is how it began. It
happened on the balcony of Vicka's old house. There were Vicka's brothers and
sisters and other young people from the village, and I was with them too. It was
just before my wedding. The visionary Ivan was also there. At one stage of the
night, I suggested that we go to Apparition Hill, even though the communist
police had forbidden people to do so. All of us, together with Ivan , agreed to
go.
Ivan was not
expecting to have an apparition that night, but Our Lady appeared suddenly. We
were praying the seven Our Fathers on Apparition Hill. After the apparition,
Ivan told us that Our Lady invited us to meet twice a week when it was suitable
for us, and to not be afraid of anybody, because she would be with us. Because I
was from another city, Metkovic (half an hour drive from Medjugorje) the others
asked me when it would be suitable for me to attend the prayer group. I
responded that Tuesday and Friday nights would be best, and they agreed.
At the next meeting,
many people came, but Our Lady said that she had only invited nine of us for
this prayer group. from that day, 4 July 1982, until this day, Our Lady has been
leading our prayer group through the visionary Ivan, giving us her beautiful
motherly teaching and messages, of which there are so many that we could write
many books .
The reason that Our
Lady invited us to form this prayer group was so that we could help her with our
prayers so that her plans could be realised. She taught us as in school, step by
step, and gently, knowing our limitations and will. At the beginning, only the
prayer group members were present when Mary appeared to Ivan, but later Our Lady
invited others to be present as well. She would tell us the time and place of
the prayer meeting and apparition. It is still like this today.
Over time, more
people joined the prayer group in a special way. But some of them left the
group. Our Lady often asks us to have unity, simplicity and humility, and to
witness to others her presence there, and to be a sign, light and example to
others. Maybe some people expected us to be holy supernatural charismatics, who
would lay hands on people and heal them, and who knows what else they expected
from us? Our Lady asked from us something completely different. She asked that
we grow naturally as a flower that is not watered by artificial means, but
simply with water. That is how she expressed herself for us to grow naturally.
She did not ask from us more than we could offer. She came to us as to children
who first start to pray the guardian angel's prayer. Later, increasingly, She
taught us , beginning with 5 Our Fathers, then 7 Our Fathers, then one mystery
of the rosary, then the whole rosary, then adoration of the Blessed Sacrament,
which She started with our prayer group before it had begun in the parish church
of Saint James. she led us through personal and group meditation.
The prayer group
never had a priest as spiritual leader, because of our own indecision, and
because the priests themselves were not ready to take on a big responsibility
and give us their time. Today, I think that Our Lady never insisted that we have
a spiritual leader, because She herself was enough that we do not stray from the
path. I would, however, recommend to anyone who wants to grow spiritually in a
prayer group or personally, to find a priest who will lead them in prayer or
meditation, especially in meditation, because the is always a danger that people
who pray a lot ask a lot too, even that what God would not like to give them
because He knows what is not good for that person. Many want to experience
apparitions in meditations, to hear supernatural voices, but when they do not
receive this, later or not at all, that what they are asking for, they continue
to search for it by alot of fasting or non-stop prayer. This leads to a
spiritual deviation, and can bring spiritual and physical illness. I remember a
person who fasted more than a month on bread and water or less. When he was
asked why he did that and was destroying himself, he answered, "How can I eat
when my brothers in the world are starving to death?"
We grew up normally,
and thanks to God, we remained normal people, living with our families, working
and praying in a normal way. Maybe we are different because our prayer group
does not pray for our small interests, but we give our prayer to Our Lady so she
can realise her plans for which God sent her here, while she is praying for our
needs, as she has said in her messages. Today, all but two members of the prayer
group are married. The nicest thing that Our Lady often asked from us was to
present to her all our problems and difficulties, illnesses, and that we
rejoice. Even from personal experience, I think that we have not fully been able
to do this. We thought that we could carry our problems by ourselves. Only when
we did not have a way out would be approach Our Lady. Really we never managed to
run away from this human weakness. Our weaknesses dragged behind us like a
shadow. There have been so many good and bad things that have happened in the 17
years of our prayer group, and it is very hard to put all this in a few words. I
could say now that I am not sorry. I would repeat everything if I had to, but
from all the things that happened , I would try to eliminate my sins,
weaknesses, and even haughtiness. Luckily, I think that Our Lady left to all of
us a cognition about our own unworthiness for this greatest gift. Very often I
ask myself, looking at my imperfections, what did she find in me, in us? There
were days when I prayed 5 or more rosaries, went to Holy Mass, and climbed
Apparition Hill, and after all this, I was left unsatisfied with my prayer, and
I thought that I could do even more. I thought that my prayer was empty words,
that it was unworthy, that even that night I came to Our Lady with empty hands.
I felt that I gave to Our Lady the minimum and to myself the maximum. I Tried to
make my childhood dreams come true.
But now when I put
everything together, I understand that Our Lady led us in the best way. We did
not become charismatics in the eyes of others. We stayed steady, strong and
determined to follow Our Lady to the end, to be Her instruments for the people
who come our way with our everyday example. Without force and few words we can
show that with God in your heart you can be happy in this world.
The greatest gift
that Our Lady gave us, in my opinion, is the I always feell in my heart that God
loves me. I always feel security in His hands, and I always feel close to Him,
even when I am performing my daily duties.
I would like to say
this to everyone – you can all have this gift. Maybe not in the same way as us,
but through persistent prayer, you will receive this, even if you do not ask for
it. Then in times of sickness, difficulties and crosses, you will have this
security. Our Lady said that when the time comes for the secrets to be realised,
those people who are praying and living the messages will feel peace in their
heart. Those who have experienced the peace in the heart that God gives, that
feeling of security and love, they can consider themselves rich, a richness that
the world cannot give. In one of the messages (not one for our prayer group),
Our Lady said that nobody would become rich from her apparitions in Medjugorje,
and that is being realised today.
Many people turned
themselves towards materialism, by building houses and hotels, by opening
businesses, forgetting the biggest treasure that Our Lady offered us here. Maybe
they made some materialistic riches, but they stayed poor in their heart. They
lost that beautiful peace, security and content from their heart. These people
are full of worries, anger and unhappiness. They forget about the biggest human
treasures, family, friends, and they lost the real meaning of life and the joy
in small things. God is not against wealth, as long as the wealth does not
become your god. Our God is a jealous God. He wants to be in first place in our
life, not in second place. He will stay poor if he chooses this path.
In Croatia and Bosnia
Herzegovina, when the war was raging, we still had prayer groups with Our Lady.
However, we could not sing while our friends were dying on the front lines. The
boys from the Cenacolo community came to sing for us. Our Lady would appear sad.
We did not know why, but a little later, when air raids began, we realised why.
Our Lady was always happy when we were happy, and sad when we were sad. Like any
real mother, Our Lady was compassionate with her children. She was always
encouraging us not to be afraid, because we were always under her protection.
We were not robots.
On the contrary, she was leading us all year. She was preparing us on how to
experience Christmas, Lent, Easter, Pentecost, Assumption, Holy Cross, Our
Lady's birthday (August 5), anniversary of the apparitions (June 25), and the
anniversary of the prayer group (July 4), and other feasts.
We have been tested
by Our Lady. She was asking to meet us in the middle of the night, sometimes
after midnight. Once it was at 3am. Even when it was cold winds and snow.
Nothing stopped her from calling us, and nothing stopped us from going. From
personal experience and from others, no one ever caught a cold. We used to come
back from the meetings soaking wet. On Cross Mountain, it was so windy sometimes
that we could not even stand up straight. We hid behind the cross where we
could. We prayed and sang for an hour before Mary arrived. The weirdest thing
was that these meetings were the best. We had the strongest experiences in our
hearts at these meetings, and Our Lady would be extremely joyful and she thanked
us for coming rain, hail or shine. I suppose we felt that we gave something more
than just words, because our body was looking for warmth, while our spirit was
looking for penance. In these 17 years were we criticised by Our Lady just once.
On one occasion, we fell asleep, like the apostles at Gethsemane.
That day, Our Lady
invited just our group to Cross Mountain. It was really very cold. We were
chilled to the bone, even though we were heavily clothed. We were shivering. Our
Lady asked us to pray 3 rosaries after the apparitions. we hid behind the cross
to protect ourselves from the wind, and we started to pray. We managed to get
through the first part of the rosary. During the second part, we were nodding
off to sleep, and our minds were on the warm heaters and who knows on what else.
Suddenly, in the
middle of the rosary, Our Lady appeared! She thanked us for staying, but told us
to go home and finish the rosary there because our minds were far away from
prayer. We walked home very sad. We found it difficult to deal with our
disappointment. At the next apparition with Ivan, Our Lady was smiling and she
said that we had improved since she corrected us.
We had so many
beautiful meeting that could not be described in words. Since the beginning, I
have been keeping a diary of these events. Sometimes, Ivan and Vicka wrote the
diary entries themselves.
The best meeting were
at Christmas, when Our Lady would come dressed in a special way in a gold dress
and the little baby Jesus in her arms, who was also dressed in gold. They would
be surrounded by up to 5 angels dressed in gold too. I asked Ivan many times how
did Jesus, Mary and the angels look like. He said he could not put it in words.
During Holy Week,
especially on Good Friday, Our Lady would be very sad. Sometimes she would cry,
because she would remember the passion of her son, and she was asking us to pray
so that she would feel better, that we sympathise with her suffering. She wanted
us to experience in our hearts the passion of Our Lord, who died for us on the
cross.
Sometimes she would
show Jesus on the cross to Ivan, after which he would be so shocked, describing
to us Jesus with the crown of thorns, and a thorn that was pierced in His ear,
and one through the forehead. He was covered in blood, sighing painfully.
We were most joyful
when Our Lady would arrive joyfully because her plan was being fulfilled. We
never knew what her plan were, but it must be sometime great because she was so
joyful. She did not tell us her plan so that we would not become haughty when we
helped her realise her plan.
Everything is
possible with prayer. If Our Lady says that war can be stopped through
prayer, then it can be stopped. Would we not become haughty if we knew that one
place was not bombed or one life was saved due to our prayers? In the end I want
to say that as much as it is nice to have been chosen in this special way, it is
also very hard to fulfil all that has been asked from us, especially when the
devil is always trying to destroy love joy and peace wherever he can. He tried
to destroy our prayer group many times in devious ways from the inside, but Our
Lady never let it happen. I ask you, the visitor to this page, to remember us in
your prayers, that we can persist to the end, not in our glory, but in the glory
of God and Mary queen of peace.
THANK YOU AND WE WILL
PRAY FOR YOU AND FOR PEACE IN THE WHOLE WORLD. LET US ALL PRAY FOR THE
REALISATION OF MARY'S PLAN.
You can send your
petition to:
@![e-mail[1].gif (638 bytes)](_borders/e-mail1.gif) mbrecic@tel.net.ba
which will be
presented to Our Lady during an apparition. You may also email me your
suggestions and comments.
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